Stitches
by Childish Sadism
Summary: You are the only one that makes me feel normal, yet some people believe we are not. Why are we the bad ones, when we are not the ones harming the people someone else holds dear? USUK


Warnings: violence, rape, I guess gore. Tons of grammar mistakes like always...

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><p>Alfred lived in a very common neighborhood, in a very common house and with a very common family. There was nothing special about them. Their house looked exactly like all the houses in the neighborhood and his dad even drove the same car as the guy next door and the one next door after him and the one after him and so on. It was hard to distinguish any difference in between the houses, yet Alfred knew which one was his home and which one wasn't.<p>

It didn't matter which time of the year was, the neighborhood never changed. During Christmas they all had the same decorations, the same lights, the same figurines and the same colors. It was even harder to distinguish the houses from one another during holidays so Alfred started to dislike them.

Alfred went to a school that was very normal. The school uniform made everyone look the same and each one of them had the same backpack, the same books and the same pencils. The classes were the same for everyone and no one stood out. Everyone was taught how to work as a team and who ever didn't was gone the next day just to come back with a bright smile and new attitude. Everything that could be wrong was easily fixed and everything that was fixed was usually never actually broken.

But even though everything was normal and even though everything was common...everything was weird for Alfred. He could feel his chest burning, his head spinning and his soul whimpering. It was scary, everything around him was too scary. It was not actually normal, it was odd, disgusting and frightening. He could see that his mom looked nothing like his friend's mom but why did they wear the same clothes and why was their hair styled in the same way? He had no idea. He couldn't understand how two people that looked completely different could look so alike.

Alfred would never tell his parents about his doubts and fears. Oh no, he was far too scared to be taken away and 'fixed' he didn't want to come back smiling and with that odd look in his eyes. He didn't want to look like a puppet that was forcefully moving.

Alfred was an outsider, yeah, that's all he was or at least that's what he thought.

There was a new student that morning, yet no one was interested. It was just another boy or girl after all, nothing special about them. Nothing at all. Except this boy was not like all the others, Alfred could tell. The boy's name was Arthur Kirkland and he looked completely different from anyone Alfred ever met before. He shone around them. The uniform was the same, the backpack was the same and his pencils were the same but everything he did was completely different. The way he uncaringly leaned against his chair and took lazy notes. The way he would doodle on the corner of his notebook. He did everything he was not supposed to do and got away with it...because he looked the same. No one suspected him and no one dared to point out how different he was.

Maybe it was just Alfred, maybe he was the only one noticing these things because no one else in class would glance at Arthur, no one gave him any special attention yet Alfred did. It was all Alfred, could it be that he was the only one capable of noticing this?

Arthur knew he was looking at him and suspiciously watching every one of his moves. He knew because he would wink at him every single time he would catch him staring at him and he would smile at him. Arthur was not upset, in fact he was amused because of the special attention Alfred was giving him.

"Pfft, attention seeker." Alfred said once in between his lips. He was surprised though, very. How could he say something like that when he didn't even know Arthur. More importantly how exactly did he know that Arthur was seeking attention? He wasn't doing anything to stand out, and no one else but him was noticing him. Why was he thinking this to begin with? He never noticed anyone else seeking attention and just now...how? Alfred was so confused he couldn't even think clearly.

Arthur on the other hand was calm and smirking at him. He made it his favorite game to catch Alfred staring at him. He would always get him too and then he would snicker quietly.

"You are pretty cute, you know?" Arthur said to him one day before school started.

Alfred was of course mortified! How can a guy say that to him, he should be saying it to a girl...although he couldn't remember the last time he saw a girl and a guy talking to each other. Boys would usually sit on one side of the room and girls would sit on the other side. Alfred sometimes wondered what exactly girls would talk about because guys truly wouldn't talk about anything. Maybe girls were more interesting but he was far too scared to talk to one.

Arthur would always disappear during lunch time. He was not sitting with all the boys or the girls. He was just gone. Alfred made it his duty to find Arthur because he didn't trust Arthur! He was probably doing something bad and causing trouble. It was funny, how Alfred didn't like how normal everything was, yet when someone abnormal finally showed up in his life he was paranoid. He was scared of him and couldn't help himself but to follow his every move. To make sure he was hallucinating. Arthur was probably as normal as everyone else was, Alfred was just confused.

But no, Arthur was not like everyone else.

Alfred found him outside near the track field. He was sitting with someone else and Alfred was able to recognize this person, it was the kid that was taken away months before Arthur showed up. Ivan was his name? Alfred couldn't remember but he saw them talking and he watched, no, he stared as Arthur pulled out thick and long needles out of the other's head. The needles were bloody, rusty and dirty, and soon something dark was coming out of Ivan's head and it was slowly covering his whole face and then his neck and then the rest of his body. Alfred was horrified and wanted to run and tell a teacher but when he glanced at the two again, the dirty blood was gone and the needles were nowhere to be seen. It was just Arthur and Ivan, sitting on a bench and now were staring at him with a small smile.

Ivan now looked different. Just like Arthur, just like he did before he was taken away.

Alfred wasn't sure of what to say. He just stared as Ivan left and Arthur walked closer to him. He was smiling at him like he always did but now more openly. Alfred could truly see how different Arthur was now. He walked differently, he moved differently and he looked at him differently. Arthur was not a robot like everyone else he knew.

"They put needles in your head and then let it rot. If you don't pull them out quick, then your brain dies." Arthur said quietly to him, like he was telling Alfred a secret.

Alfred started to see things very differently after that day. He could see stitches on people's heads. He could see it on his teacher's forehead and some other students. One day he even saw one on the side of his head. It was easily visible and he wondered why his mom and dad never said anything. The thick, black thread was disgusting looking and digging through his skin and every time Alfred touched it, it hurt.

He was so scared of it that he even asked Arthur for help. Arthur snickered at him and took him away and with care he slowly cut the stitches away and pulled out a long, rusty needle. It was so long Alfred wondered if it had left any damage but Arthur assured him that it didn't. The needle was thrown away and Arthur kissed his head.

Arthur did that a lot, at least in the short time they had been talking to each other. He would kiss Alfred's forehead or his cheek. He would even snuggle against him sometimes and it made the poor confused Alfred blush! He just wasn't sure why Arthur was doing this but part of him didn't want to complain. He enjoyed having a friend, well a real one. He had friends before but they had all been so normal that Alfred was always sticking out like a sore thumb but with Arthur...with Arthur he felt normal. He was just like Arthur and Arthur was just like him.

It was weird how everything that had been so normal was now so very different. He would spend most of his time talking with Arthur. He would stay after school and so would Arthur. The two of them would go to local parks or just any place where they could be alone. It was just what Alfred wanted, to be alone with the only person that was like him.

"Why are other people so different?" Alfred asked Arthur, glancing at him from the corner of his eyes.

Arthur yawned and stretched on top of the grass, his eyes staring at the blue sky. The two were skipping lunch again. "I don't know, but I don't like them much."

"Why?" Alfred frowned, sitting up and staring down at Arthur.

"Because they hurt you when they find out you are different. See what happened to Ivan? He was fine the way he was, he was not broken but they still did that to him." Arthur sighed loudly, his eyes closed to avoid the stare the other was giving him.

"My mom and dad are normal and I still love them." Alfred said quietly, almost feeling guilty for saying it. What if he made Arthur upset for arguing with him?

"I love my mom and dad too but that doesn't mean they will if they see how different I am. That's why I act normal and only people that are not normal can see it. Because we find each other, we always do." Arthur snickered, peeking at Alfred with an open eye and an amused smile.

"Oh..." Alfred blinked, now looking a bit surprised. So this is why he was able to tell that Arthur was different when no one else would. It was because he was different as well. "Do you find a lot of people like us?"

"Well, we move around a lot because of my dad's job but I always find someone like us. Sometimes a lot of them but we always have to hide."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want people messing with my head just because they don't like the way I am."

Alfred merely wondered if he would be upset if people decided to change him. Well, if he didn't know what they were doing, he doubted he would mind. But he also didn't want to see stitches on the side of his head again. No, he wanted to just be himself and be normal at the same time. Maybe he could find a place where he could be considered normal, that would be nice. Then he could bring Arthur with him and the two could live there. They could be happy being themselves and no one would take them away, and no one would change them. Instead they would like how different they were. That would be a true home.

It was Alfred that kissed Arthur's lips first. For the first time it wasn't Arthur the one seeking affection but Alfred. Alfred wanted to be with Arthur and he wasn't even sure how that was possible. All he knew was that he wanted to be with him like his mom was with his dad. He wanted to live with him, sleep with him and wake up with him. He wanted to build a home where the two could live in, in that place they were going to find where they could be themselves.

Arthur was not disturbed over the kiss and he also didn't mind it at all. Instead he smiled at Alfred and kissed him back, giggling quietly and shyly.

The school year was more interesting this year. Alfred and Arthur had all of their classes together and so they had fun in their own ways. They looked the same than everyone else, but deep inside they knew they were much happier than they were.

And Alfred was happy. He was so happy he started to shine as much as Arthur did. He could see it in his reflection and he couldn't help himself but to grin foolishly at himself every morning.

It was beautiful, for Alfred. How people that were so different could be normal and be happy. He was in love, this is what being in love meant. Sometimes when his father was not so normal he would talk about when he met his mom and he would go on and on and Alfred would always listen to him because everything always sounded so magical. What Alfred felt right now was definitely what his dad felt for his mom and he was sure Arthur felt the same.

Alfred woke up one morning and he knew that something was wrong. The house was too quiet. Usually at this hour his dad would be watching the morning news and his mom would be chatting over the phone with his grandmother but today, everything was very quiet.

Alfred fixed his PJ's and walked out of his room and down the stairs. He could hear his mom talking to his dad and then someone else would start talking. He frowned and went inside the living room and stared at the group of strangers that were now staring back at him. His mother was crying and his dad was holding her. He was stroking her hair and not once did he glance at Alfred.

"Hello Alfred..."

This was wrong.

"We are here to help you..."

He didn't need help.

"If you can just come with us..."

He didn't have to go anywhere. He was fine here.

"We would love to help you."

Alfred was so scared.

The building was far too cold for Alfred. He was being dragged by two men that were tightly holding on his arms. He was struggling and kicking his legs but it did nothing. He was small in comparison to these guys. Alfred was just a six-teen year old boy after all. Nothing else and nothing more. He was just Alfred so why were they bringing him here.

Alfred heard a familiar voice. The screams and cursing came from down the hall. It was Arthur. The two men shoved him inside a big, dirty room. It was colder in there and another group of people were now staring at him. He could see Arthur in the distance. He was struggling against a group of what looked like doctors. They were pushing him down onto the floor as he kicked and screamed at them. He was fighting more than Alfred. Arthur was angry and scared and he was acting like a wild animal in these conditions.

"Control yourself please, this is for your own good." One of the doctors said and Alfred could see that he was smiling. And the smile was too scary, it was stretching over his face and it was just too wide. Someone couldn't be happy over this, how could they be happy? They were going to hurt them and Alfred knew it! He was sure of it and he was crying. He could feel tears running down from the corner of his eyes.

They were not as mean to him. They could see that he was scared and it was easy to manipulate him. He did what he was told and he swallowed some pills. He sat on the corner of the room, covering his ears and listening to the fighting. He heard Arthur screaming in pain a couple of times but he couldn't bring himself to do anything, his body was now weak and numb. He couldn't even open his mouth to speak even less move his muscles to stop them.

Alfred tried to crawl and reach them. He tried but his body just fell over. Everything was too blurry and tainted. He could see dark spots in his vision and it was causing him to see things differently. He shouldn't have listened to him and he shouldn't have been so scared.

Alfred tried to struggle when he was picked up and placed on a medical table. He glanced around and with his blurry vision he could see Arthur. Arthur was next to him and slowly he felt himself smiling but little by little his vision was better and better and soon his eyes widened wider and wider. He stared in horror as the doctors brutally dug needles on Arthur.

But what was scaring him was not that, no, the bloody needles and the cuts on Arthur's body could easily heal, yes, they could. But what they were also doing to him was too much. Alfred heard himself screaming and he wasn't sure if it was in pain or rage. He struggled just to find out that he was now strapped to the table. He couldn't move an inch and his eyes were once again filled with tears. He was crying and his vision was so blurry but he was not allowed to look away. No. Alfred's head was turned whenever he tried to look away and his eyes were forced wide open when he closed them.

He could see that Arthur was not crying but he knew he was in pain. Arthur, he didn't deserve this. He didn't. How could they do this? Why would they do this? Alfred swallowed heavily, staring as the other was brutally raped. He could hear the lewd noises and the heavy breathing and the smell of sex was thick in the air. Far too thick. It was intoxicating and Alfred felt like throwing up. Everything was too sickening and it was slowly far too much. He heard himself screaming again and again. Until his throat was dry and ripping.

Alfred wasn't sure how long everything lasted, but he was far too tired to even move a muscle by the end of it. He was just staring at Arthur. Arthur was exhausted, he couldn't move either and at some point he started to cry and the dry tears were hugging his cheeks, his body was so weak that the doctors could move him like a doll. Arthur's head was lifted by the hair, his mouth was bleeding and something white was clinging to his chin and the rest of his face. And Alfred truly did not want to think about what it was.

And they were laughing. How could they be laughing. This was inhuman, this was horrible and just...evil. How could they be doing this and claim that they were helping them. They were saying horrible things, horrible things about Arthur and horrible things about him. Alfred wanted to shut them up, he wanted to pull their tongues out of their mouths and shut them up, to hurt them until they couldn't speak, until not a word could be spilled. And Arthur knew this and he weakly smiled at him before shaking his head. He moved one of his arms weakly and pressed one of his fingers against his lips as he smiled at him.

'Be quiet.'

Arthur was telling him just as he turned and spat on one of the doctors. He chuckled afterwards, weakly smirking at them. And Alfred knew what Arthur was doing and he shook his head because no one was now paying attention to Alfred. No one, because Alfred was the good one and Arthur was the bad one and he was the one that needed to be punished. Alfred struggled again and stared at Arthur, he stared at him as he was surrounded and he could see the horror in Arthur's eyes. He could feel it. Those green eyes were shaking and trembling and the smirk on his lips was shaking in fear. It was ready to fall apart.

Alfred could only remember screams before passing out. The next time he woke up he was in the same room. Needles were being shoved on his arms and he could feel a long needle slowly drilling on the side of his head, where the stitches that Arthur pulled out had been. He felt a new thread slowly digging through his flesh and stitching him up. He was forced to swallow more pills. Pills after pills he swallowed until everything was different. Until he couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't.

"I know you are a good boy Alfred and I know you were just following Arthur's influence. Don't worry, you'll be fine."

He was told this one night by one of the doctors just as he stared as Arthur was strapped back down on a table. He watched as different white pads were placed on Arthur's weak body before a light turned white and then there was more screaming. Alfred was watching this. He knew what they were doing to Arthur, the voltage meter near the bed was telling him so and they were making him watch so he would learn. So he knew what happens to people that are different. To people that stick out and to people that try to find that happy place somewhere else.

Alfred could remember being told different things and he could remember numbing pain spreading through his body almost every day. And every day he would see Arthur again and he was all stitched up. He could see threads on Arthur's arms, cheeks, head, neck and even his legs. They were ripping him apart and putting him back together, little by little they were destroying him and making him new.

Alfred was picked up from the hospital by his mom and dad and he could feel himself smiling brightly at them and hugging them and telling them how much he missed them. He was so happy that they were here to pick him up. Yes, he was...at least that's how it looked like. The forceful smile made him feel like a robot. The happy movements of his body made him sick. Everything about him was sickening, yet he kept moving and walking as if everything was okay, as if he was now normal and what happened inside never happened.

Alfred knew he was not 'fixed', he knew it very well, but the doctors didn't. He got out because they thought he was a healthy boy again but he wasn't. At night he yanked off the stitches and needles in his head until his head was bleeding. Until he could see the disgusting black, filth crawling out of his body. He was still Alfred and to keep Alfred safe he had to fake being someone else. He was the happy normal body everyone wanted.

But Arthur...what happen to Arthur?

Alfred didn't see Arthur for a long time. He was slowly starting to think the worst. After all they had done to him, after everything they had done, maybe Arthur was gone. Maybe Arthur had found his limit and was now gone. Alfred always stopped himself from thinking this before it got too deep in his head. He didn't want to start crying and he didn't want to show people that he was not normal. It would get him send back to the hospital and even though he wanted to see Arthur, being there was not going to help him. It was just probably going to make things worse, for him and Arthur.

It wasn't until the next school year that Alfred saw Arthur again. He was once again introduced to the class and the teacher told everyone how Arthur had to leave because of health problems...Alfred knew better but he naively smiled at the teacher and nodded. The Arthur that stepped in was different to what Alfred could remember. The green eyes were lifeless and lacked any luster, his whole body was covered with stitched, more than the ones Alfred could remember, yet he was smiling. He was smiling at the classes and telling his name and how he was looking forward to this new school year.

Arthur was acting just like any normal kid. He was moving like a puppet and talking like one as well. The words spitting out of his mouth were not the ones Alfred could remember but he couldn't get close to him. If he did people would start to suspect and he knew his teacher was watching them. He knew it very well.

Arthur never bothered to talk to him either. He never said a word to him and whenever he would look at him, he wouldn't recognize him. Alfred didn't exist in Arthur's new world anymore. He was gone. But this was not possible if Alfred could still remember Arthur, if he was still himself, if he was still Alfred then that meant that maybe Arthur was still the same deep inside.

It was Arthur that had been brave since the beginning. It was him that made Alfred realize who he truly was and it was Arthur that gave him a hand to hold so he wouldn't fall into desperation. It was him that taught him that he could be normal even if he was different and it was him that never left him alone.

Arthur, it had been thanks to Arthur. But now, days passed by in which Arthur wouldn't even glance at him. Alfred wanted nothing but to hug him, to hold him and make him feel better for everything he went through. To apologize for being a coward and a cry baby for not being strong enough to take the pain and letting Arthur be the one to leave the hospital earlier. He should have been the one, he should have been the one to take the pain.

But Alfred knew that Arthur had been stronger than him. He knew that Arthur had been far stronger than he was. He had taken everything willingly to protect him because Arthur had know how weak Alfred truly was and he knew that Alfred wouldn't had been able to take this but he could and because he loved Alfred. He would let him get away from the pain. He would take it himself and watch him leave.

Even if it meant forgetting him.

Alfred could only stare at Arthur from the distance. He would sit with the normal kids and talk about normal stuff. He would wear normal clothes and smile a simple, normal smile. Alfred truly didn't mind it so much that Arthur was normal, what bothered him was the fact that this was not Arthur. Arthur didn't smile like this and Arthur didn't talk like this. Arthur was different. Arthur was amazing, strong, and the person that Alfred loved. This new Arthur was...just not the same.

Alfred cried at night. He cried a lot and he felt weak and useless. It took him a while to realize that he was not weak or useless, not anymore. He had been weak and he had been useless but what they had done, what they had made him watch and what they had done made him different, even more so than before but this time, this time he was just as strong as Arthur. He was not doubtful and he was not ashamed of who he was anymore. He was Alfred, and nothing else. He was who he was and no one, no doctor, no family and no people were going to tell him that he was bad for being the way he was...because now he could see mistakes on everyone. He could see ugly and disgusting flaws that he had not been able to see before and he wondered if Arthur had always been able to see this, and that was why he was so strong and confident because he knew these people that believed to be 'normal' were nothing but flawed maggots themselves.

Alfred felt peace, for the first time after what happened. He felt at peace. He was who he was supposed to be. He was someone that could support Arthur if he was to fall. He was someone that could stand by his side and go through the same pain that Arthur had gone through. Because he was sure that deep inside he could take both of their pain away. It was his job, it was his debt. Alfred would make it happen and so with a shining smile he stood out and he was not afraid. He shone above anyone else and acted 'normal' no one could complain about him because he was doing nothing wrong. Nothing wrong at all and they couldn't prove anything.

Alfred was ready, he truly was. He was ready to pick up Arthur and find that home he dreamed of. He was going to smile at him and tell him about how strong he made him and how much he admired him and how much he loved them. It will happen. He was going to be the one to step in this time. He was going to be the one to tell Arthur to be quiet and he was going to be the one to take the beating. He will do it for Arthur and he will do it because he was strong.

And so for the first time in almost a year, Alfred got near Arthur. He waited for Arthur to walk home before he put a warm hand on his shoulder and smiled at him.

"Hey, you have a lot of stitches."

And Arthur stared at him, with the soulless eyes that now looked surprised.

"You can see them? They really hurt."

Yes, his Arthur was still there, deep inside somewhere.

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><p>Reviews amuse me~<p> 


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